Why are you here?

Queen of the drunk text.

Mom: “so just swish this mouthwash around for 30 seconds, twice a day”
Me: “okay, got it”
Mom: “now don’t swallow it”
Me: “okay, mom”
Mom: “don’t swallow it, spit it out”
Me: “MOM okaaaaaaaaay!”

kabhipussykabhibum:

how white girls dance when they see their black ex in the club Crying

(via ericurryisinahurry)

suarezalex:

okay seriously if you’re in a relationship or even a friendship and you find yourself spending more time crying out of sadness or arguing with them, leave them. i don’t care if they’re a modern day aphrodite/adonis or a gift bestowed upon you by the gods. toxic people are dangerous and i highly advise cutting them out of your life and finding someone who makes you laugh until you snort your drink out your nose instead.

(via myexisstalkingmesothisismynewurl)

cafai (via fhume)

(via elemenok)

Fuck him. Get someone that wants you enough to give you a fucking text back. You know?
me when i eat fruits:i'm so fucking healthy
NASA:provides troves of data about the moon that couldn't be made up
NASA:provides images of it used by technologies that were just being made at the time
NASA:provided thousands of jobs to citizens in the quest to learn about the moon
NASA:uses the very real data acquired from its moon missions to further understand moon formations and satellites like it
NASA:dealt with grueling tests, trials and tribulations to get people on the moon
person:
some conspiracy site you got linked off a youtube vid about aliens:what if he nasa not went not moon?
person:you have a point, this could have all been staged

sexhaver:

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

(via ericurryisinahurry)

theidiotbastardson:

Led Zeppelin - Over the Hills and Far Away

(via notfromheredude)